I think I just lost a brain cell
This is a very good example of an ultimate long and random post. I'm feeling damn bloody downhearted now, i dont know why. Also, i'm feeling bothered by god knows what. And i decided to blog shit so i'll feel better. Yea, i said "blog shit". So if you cant take my crap, don't bother reading it anymore. I just needed a space to start ranting. (Ok, not much of a rant but i cant think of a nicer word. So yea.)
WELL, I think i need a drink. I need it badly. I need to drink, go red and get high. Get fucking high, and hopefully, drunk. I need to a get a fucking serious hangover so that all i think about is my pink room, my comfy bed and my nice-to-hug doggie soft toy.. .. .. .. nothing more. And from this, i think.... i'm addicted to drinking now. But i hope i'm not right. Or should i say, i'm adddicted to it for now? Cos' nowadays, I feel like drinking whenever i'm damn fucking depressed like as if it fucking helps me to become fucking happy. But the fact, no. not at all. But it helps me clear the mind for AT LEAST a moment. I feel my life's like a drive. I've driven way too far, and i lost my fucking way. And i could only see darkness ahead. I see no one's there to give me a hard push. No one's there to guide me through. No one's there to stop me from walking into the dark. I see no motivation. Something is probably missing in my life. I dont know what it is. But i wish i knew. And I think i've lost myself as well. All my smiles, all my laughters... They are definitely not forced out but i couldnt feel them real, somehow. I was once happy, confident and carefree. Whatever happened to the days I could be me. Whatever happened to the cheerful Sherlyn. I know its hard for people to understand me. In fact, nobody needs to. Nobody needs to even TRY to, cos' I myself aint sure what's up. I myself dont understand shit like this. I see every reason to be happy, every reason to enjoy life, every reason to smile and laugh. I know i'm blessed with the almost perfect family, in fact, perfect itself. I'm blessed with great friends. So i dont see the reason why "sadness" should even appear in my life. Nevertheless, it still did. I know people are trying to help me deal with deeper shit in life. But, telling me to cheer the fuck up is as good as giving a $100 note to a newborn baby. So, dont bother. But still, i love you people. Alrighty, i'm done crapping about the shit crap fucking depressing life and i feel like 10 times better after having everything spilt out. I think i feel great now and i should really go to bed cos' i've got better plans tomorrow like as if my exams are fucking over. what........
WELL, I think i need a drink. I need it badly. I need to drink, go red and get high. Get fucking high, and hopefully, drunk. I need to a get a fucking serious hangover so that all i think about is my pink room, my comfy bed and my nice-to-hug doggie soft toy.. .. .. .. nothing more. And from this, i think.... i'm addicted to drinking now. But i hope i'm not right. Or should i say, i'm adddicted to it for now? Cos' nowadays, I feel like drinking whenever i'm damn fucking depressed like as if it fucking helps me to become fucking happy. But the fact, no. not at all. But it helps me clear the mind for AT LEAST a moment. I feel my life's like a drive. I've driven way too far, and i lost my fucking way. And i could only see darkness ahead. I see no one's there to give me a hard push. No one's there to guide me through. No one's there to stop me from walking into the dark. I see no motivation. Something is probably missing in my life. I dont know what it is. But i wish i knew. And I think i've lost myself as well. All my smiles, all my laughters... They are definitely not forced out but i couldnt feel them real, somehow. I was once happy, confident and carefree. Whatever happened to the days I could be me. Whatever happened to the cheerful Sherlyn. I know its hard for people to understand me. In fact, nobody needs to. Nobody needs to even TRY to, cos' I myself aint sure what's up. I myself dont understand shit like this. I see every reason to be happy, every reason to enjoy life, every reason to smile and laugh. I know i'm blessed with the almost perfect family, in fact, perfect itself. I'm blessed with great friends. So i dont see the reason why "sadness" should even appear in my life. Nevertheless, it still did. I know people are trying to help me deal with deeper shit in life. But, telling me to cheer the fuck up is as good as giving a $100 note to a newborn baby. So, dont bother. But still, i love you people. Alrighty, i'm done crapping about the shit crap fucking depressing life and i feel like 10 times better after having everything spilt out. I think i feel great now and i should really go to bed cos' i've got better plans tomorrow like as if my exams are fucking over. what........
With love, on Monday, August 20, 2007
xxx This scene is DEAD xxx
xxx This scene is DEAD xxx
